How to survive Christmas drinks
You can see Christmas is greeting into full swing in the bars, restaurants and pubs of London. Eye wateringly expensive Christmas menus are appearing. Seasonal cocktails of varying degrees of expertise and allure are appearing. Mulled wine has been spotted. Tinsel and trees are taking over.
More to the point the occasional imbiber is making an appearance. We like this. It’s good to see people enjoying a drink or two. The festive vibe is, well, vibrant. Bars like it too… after all the takings go up and if you can sell some turkey, sausages and bacon for 25 quid a plate, who’s going to complain?
But, an evening of festive drinks – whether it’s the office party or a cheeky sneaky that turns into a full blown bash – can end badly. We’re talking the unwelcome reappearance of recently drunk drinks. Fisticuffs. Telling your boss what you really think. Dangerous liaisons.
You know the score… and while these things become the stuff of legend, you really don’t want to be the butt of the joke. Really, you don’t. Especially in the age of social media.
Trust us, we know. We’re only just living down an incident that occurred way back in the last century involving some reindeer horns, christmas baubles, a litre of absinthe and a gospel choir. Although, to be honest, it might never have happened. After all, we simply can’t remember.
So here are our cardinal rules for Christmas drinking.
It’s obvious, but boy is it true. Drinking on an empty stomach is just a recipe for disaster. All that ‘eating is cheating’ stuff is nonsense. After all, ‘retching is not fetching’.
Rule one – Water. No, not all night. But regularly, in between the shots and the champagne. It helps keep you hydrated. It slows things down. It’s actually quite refreshing.
Rule two – It’s not a race. Unless it’s a drinking game. In which case it probably is. But the point is you don’t have to down everything in site in the first few minutes – even if it is free. I know it’s tempting. I know it gets you into the swing of things. But really, you can’t undo the damage those early drinks do to your stamina.
Rule three – Book a cab before you go out. It means you leave before things get ugly. It means you get at least a few hours sleep to recover. It means you don’t end up walking home, bumping into lampposts or watering unsuspecting plants. Worse still you could end up sleeping on a mate’s floor and going to work next day in the same clothes. That just means unpleasant rumours – and odours.
Rule four – Talking of which, always, always make it to work next day. Calling in sick is cowardly, wimpy and inconsiderate. Plus you won’t have the opportunity to deny scurrilous gossip.
And there we have it. A few simple rules that mean you’ll still have a night to remember. That you actually remember.